The last few days were a big mess of anxiety, depression and disappointment bordering on self loathing. Because a while ago, our credit points were released ahead of the results and I had 10CP less which led me to infer that I had failed pharm because pharm was the last exam and I completely fell apart the night before and didn't manage to learn a single thing and essentially bombed the crap out of the paper. Then my status changed to 'under consideration' which is where there is a board meeting to discuss the borderline cases and decide whether to fail us or pass us. And if I borderline failed I'd have to fly back to Perth in Jan to sit for supps and cancel the Africa trip whereas if I outright failed I'd have to repeat 3rd year which would probably lead to several attempted suicides.

I was praying pretty hard while waiting for the results because I definitely didn't want to go through 3rd year all over again. At the same time supps seemed like quite a realistic possibility so I started convincing myself that supps might not be too terrible a thing (if I don't go to Africa, I'd have more time to spend in KL etc). But overall the thought of failing a unit was pretty depressing and I was so mad at myself for not working harder and trying harder. Anyway, results came out today and thanks to nothing less than a miracle, I passed with 50% on the dot. And I can't imagine anyone other than God being responsible for it because I haven't exactly been a model med student (in terms of attendance) or getting stellar marks. So this is a huge thank you to God and also a reminder to my future self NOT to be such a slacker.

Also to my med/non med friends (who will probably never see this)- thanks for offering all your notes and past years and to help me study and generally being super supportive :)