Just got all my vaccinations for Zambia today - 5 of them at the same time. The doc considerately put the non painful ones (meningococcal, yellow fever) on the right arm but all the painful ones together on the left (typhoid, tetanus, flu) so now my left arm is aching like there's a bruise there which is continuously being punched. Hope I'll be able to climb tomorrow because right now I can barely lift my arm up to tie my hair.

Also, either I'm being attacked by bed bugs which is freaking gross or I'm getting my third case of chicken pox. Either way I hope the dots disappear soon because we're FINALLY going into the dive pool next week. WOOHOO!

In other news, apparently there are some people out there reading this so hi :)

Being camp 'medic' is kinda scary when you're only half a doctor and there are as many injuries as there were during this year's camp. Luckily no one got hurt crazily bad but I was still giving out panadols at an alarming rate and by the end of camp almost the whole box was gone. Unofficially, there were:

- 3 cuts/scrapes/wounds to bandage per day
- 2 people coming down with flu/fever/headaches/sore throat per day
- 1 sprained finger
- 1 injured back
- 1 mysterious insect sting which actually looked pretty bad
- Fen's weird and kinda scary falling sick episode
- 1 broken toenail
- 1 stomped on toe (2 if I count mine)

Like Eugene said, some of the guys could have used some man up pills (manadol, not panadol?) because they came looking for plasters over the smallest of flappers and scrapes whereas the girl who got stung took it like a champ. When that happened, we also found out that there were no ice cubes present on the entire campsite so instead of icing the sting, she had to strawberry popsicle it. The anti emetic pills were a huge hit so for the next Chefoo camp I should remember to get more than 20 pills. Especially when there are 87 campers to fight over them on the bus ride home. It felt like some Survivor moment where the contestants have been stranded on some random island for too long and someone comes in with a tray of cupcakes. Eyes would light up and all of a sudden it's survival of the fittest. First come first serve.

Amazing race was great because it was my first win EVER after 15 races! :D Picking up the last clue and seeing Francis' riddles there felt so good because it was the only time I've ever been useful in a race. Due to my COMPLETE lack of sense though, I ended up directing Eugene, Su and a couple other more teams down the wrong jungle trail for 1.5 hours which I felt supremely bad for, especially when it started to pour while they were still stuck in the jungle but they were still super forgiving about it.

So camp was great as usual. It seems to go differently every year now in terms of fellowship, worship etc but it never fails to be good :)

Something really sad I read today here

i know there are greater tragedies in life like death, disease and poverty. but when you fail for the first time and have to face the fact that you're not smart enough for this course it can feel pretty shit indeed.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love trains?

It feels great to be back home. There's nothing like the comfort of knowing you belong in this place, surrounded by people who love you and look after you.

i feel like i'm filled with a dry empty desert

Thank God for Jason who came along last night and started quizzing me on ID because if I didn't feel like a complete idiot from not knowing 80% of the answers and if that didn't scare me into memorizing all the stupid things, I probably would have flunked today and driven my car into the swan river to escape repeating 3rd year.

but i have such a huge thing for the awkwardly deliberate and slow; like old people who shuffle along in Coles, putting things like 1 packet of pasta and 1 tomato in their trolley or giraffes or elephants. And the guy sitting opposite me who pulled his laptop out of this plastic wrapper (like the kind that magazines come in, the one with the sticky flap) and accidentally tore the wrapper so he crushed it up very slowly and put it in his bag. And then took out his stack of notes and placed it very neatly on the table. Now he appears to be drawing Venn diagrams. Also, he has a beard. Adorbs.

Ok so now I know what happens when your car runs out of gas - because it just happened to me. I was driving back from uni when my car suddenly started to slow down, and then shudder, and then it just stopped. And this was in the middle of Stirling Highway so I was just SHIT. I turned on my hazard lights and tried restarting the engine and all the weird lights on my dashboard came on which I didn't know the meanings of and then I started to panic a bit because I didn't know what to do and my phone batt was close to dying. Then out of nowhere the police came along with their lights flashing which freaked me out a bit but they were nice and one of them tried starting my car and said it was probably because my fuel tank was empty and OK before you go 'duh if there's no petrol in your car it's not gonna move' and judge me for being a woman driver, the fuel gauge was on the SECOND last empty bar not the last so I definitely wasn't expecting it to stop right now and it's exam time so there's no time to pump petrol so don't judge me. So anyway, I went to walk down to the petrol station to buy a can of petrol which cost a lot because the empty can itself is $12 (??) and poured it half into the fuel tank, half onto my hands and feet and whee!! the car started again.

shit shit shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

please God let me pass these exams!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unlike so many people, I can't say I've ever really had wanderlust. Sure, I love to travel and see the world but only knowing that there is home to come back to at the end of it. I'm not adventure hungry, I'm more about constants, resistance to change, familiarity. Even the littlest changes (like when my car got sold) drive me into a sentimental frenzy. After 3 years in Perth I still get that ache for KL that comes out of nowhere. So it's kind of weird that lately I've been having thoughts about uprooting and disappearing to another place: a foreign country that is more like a foreign world. Spain maybe. Or my beloved Paris. Or Japan. Maybe Bali since according to Eat, Pray, Love it is very easy to live in Bali. Just somewhere far away where I'd know nobody and have no friends. I would probably fail miserably at re establishing myself in a brand new society and live out the rest of my days in isolation but who cares. Because what's the point of staying in a place where your existence is gradually being forgotten, and you matter less and less to your surroundings everyday. If this place doesn't hold any love for you anymore, it's better to leave it right? This is not a boohoo my friends don't like me anymore so I am emo post, it's just something that's on my mind. There are only so few people left whom I can call real friends and even those fragile connections are quickly dissolving thanks to time and distance.

I just saw the most amazing thing happen at the Hungry Jack's driveway. I was there with two other cars in front of me. The lady in the front car was waiting at the window for her food and I was sitting there with my window down when an old homeless man came shuffling into the driveway. Maybe he wasn't homeless but his clothes looked quite shabby and dirty and his beard was overgrown. Anyway, I was there having just ordered and when I saw him my heart broke a bit because I have a thing for sad looking old people in general. The thought popped into my head of calling him back and buying him some food but I was struck by a moment of should I really? because he was already walking away from my car. It's quite a cold night tonight and his clothes didn't look very warm so he probably could use some hot food to eat at least. While I was deciding what to do, he was already about 3 cars away and getting further and I only had $10 with me and I thought (this I'm quite ashamed of) what if he is drunk and turns aggressive?? As I hesitated to do anything, the lady in the front car got out and yelled after him

So how's your diet like normally?

"Attention please. Good luck for your exams students; I have been in charge of the science library since we moved in here so please look after it well. Thank you," And then everyone clapped bewilderedly. LOL. Science lib, this is why I love you.

Whee! Just passed my driving test which feels exhilarating and also a lil bit self validating because everybody knows that a Malaysian driving license doesn't really count. Tragedy almost struck in the beginning when the examiner told me to get in the car in the parking lot and signal so he could check my indicator and brake lights. So I rushed to open the door and start the engine and APPARENTLY if you start the car without getting in first, it's an automatic fail. When he told me that I started freaking out intensely in my head thinking how loser it would be to fail before even putting the gear in drive but then I guess he was having a good day because he decided to let me not fail. Then thank God I got asked to parallel park instead of reverse because he said he was "impressed" so yay I got to redeem myself. And also, I got told that I was driving too slow so my plan for ultra safe driving almost backfired. How ironic, considering I've already donated $550 to the government in speeding fines.

FINALLY, my driving test is tomorrow morning! Don't know what else I can do to prepare myself for it other than maybe go out and practise reverse parking about 20 times. Wow blogger is underlining my 'practise' in red. Has it never heard of the verb practise? Anyway. I took a couple of lessons just in case and THANK GOD I did because according to the instructor, I've been driving all wrong for the last 3 years. Or rather, all Wong because according to the radio it's of the norm for Asians to constantly drive around in a state of panicky manic. His favourite phrase in the car was "Why??" as in "Why are you zooming out like a rocket?" "Why are you speeding towards the traffic light?" "Why don't you slow down at corners?""What? Why? Whaat are you DOINGG?" Nevertheless, I remain optimistic that as long as I drive at half the speed I normally do tomorrow, it should all be fine. Fingers crossed. Also, I've been told that contrary to the norm and also my own personal belief, my parallel parking is lightyears ahead of my reverse parking in terms of better-ness. Very strange. But not saying much as my reverse parking is as abysmal as my ability to drive under the speed limit.

New footage posted on Facebook shows the moments when Gadhafi was dragged by revolutionary fighters up the hill to their vehicles. The young men screaming "Moammar, you dog!" beat the confused-looking Gadhafi, who wipes at blood covering the left side of his head and neck and left shoulder.

Gadhafi gestures to the young men to be patient, and says "What's going on?" as he wipes fresh blood from his temple and glances at his palm. A young fighter later is shown carrying a boot and screaming, "This is Moammar's shoe! This is Moammar's shoe! Victory! Victory!"

The next point that most accounts agree upon is that Gadhafi died about 30-40 minutes later as he was being taken in an ambulance to Misrata. A coroners report said he bled to death from a shot to the head, and he also had shots to the chest and belly. Accounts have been confused, however, over where and how those fatal shots were suffered.

Scenes of death, especially when it is a killing, are always saddening, no matter how wicked the dying person is. Maybe because in those final moments when a villain has lost the capacity for any bad deeds or hate crimes, or even any basic self defence, he becomes vulnerable like a child. That's why I found it sad in a way, how Osama was ambushed and shot dead and the way Gaddafi was dragged about like a broken man in his final moments. It's like they became reduced to nothing before being extinguished. One can only imagine the frenzy and panic they were feeling, counting your breaths knowing you will soon be gone from the earth. I'm not saying they didn't deserve this end, considering the horrific things they've done; I'm just saying that reading things like this will never not sadden me. Maybe I can only feel this way because nothing these two people did ever really affected me. I probably need to be Libyan or American to understand the joy. As of now, however, I can only see the brutality.

oh my goddd there's no other way to say it

honestly, living alone is one of the only things making perth bearable at the moment. in this depressing environment, my only comfort is in knowing that no matter how shit the days are in uni (almost all of them), i have a place of my own to come back to when they end. my home in perth feels like more than just a home, it's like a refuge. it's my safe house in a hostile city. somewhere where i can finally feel like myself again instead of a face put on to meet other faces. somewhere where i don't have to care about fitting in or if i'm stupider than everyone else or if i'm doing a degree i hate. don't have to deal with any gossip or drama here because i can't hear it so i don't care what's being said. no feigning fascination in things that don't interest me, no discussing work and lectures as if spending forever trying to comprehend these things aren't enough.

Ugh. The path lecture notes are so shit. It's like

reading path notes feels like reading in spanish. every word is foreign and might as well be meaningless. not to say that spanish is meaningless. it is actually quite a nice language. papedipoopedi. oh wait no, that's italian. i wish i had the time to learn mandarin or french. being only bilingual feels kinda pathetic. and one of the linguals is an almost useless language so it's more like mono and a halflingual.

Wouldn't it be so great if smells could be captured and immortalized just like pictures can. Imagine having your favourite scent in the world saved on your desktop and you'd never have to worry about it fading, all you have to do is click your mouse and you can smell it again. I think compared to all the other senses, smell is one of the most underrated ones. Probably everyone ranks eyes at the top. Ears comes next because we can't live without music and then taste because food is glorious food. And then smell/touch is kind of tied. I thought I wouldn't have minded losing smell it I had to give up one but now I'm not so sure.